Breathing Again

Grandma came to America at the age of 18. She came from Switzerland with her mother and a brother. It was 1928. She settled in Sacramento, married the man of her dreams, had two children, and, according to records I could find, was a registered Democrat (not that it really matters).

I remember her saying that whenever she heard the National Anthem, it brought tears to her eyes. I’ve never been a fan of the song as an anthem, but occasionally when the song is being sung, I’ve thought of my grandmother. When I do, I feel what she felt and it sends shivers down my spine.

For four years, I lost that feeling. Particularly when our President turned the National Anthem into a test of patriotism. A test of support for our military. A test of what he believed and not in what America is and can be. For four years, I have been cold when the song is played. For four years, I have been cold when thinking about the hope and potential of my country.

This morning as Lady Gaga sang our anthem, I felt the shivers again. I thought of Grandma and what America must have meant to her. I once again felt the anthem through her and tears came to my eyes.

Four years ago, we elected a man who represented every thing that is wrong with our country. Exceptionalism, arrogance, America First, intolerance, bullying, lack of intelligence, lack of inquisitiveness, selfishness, dishonesty, corruption, fraud. The list could go on and on and on. But fundamentally, he was a man unsuited for the position he obtained. Fundamentally, he was far too twisted and damaged a human being to actually effectively lead our nation consistent with the ideals upon which America was established.

From the opening lines of his announcement that he was running — in which he accused Mexicans of being rapists and murderers — to his final days when he spent months spouting lies that served only his purposes inspiring a mob to storm Congress in an attempt to overturn a lawful and valid election, Donald J. Trump was the worst President we ever had. He was a President only for himself, for his family, and for those who wanted to be like him. Bullying, arrogant, corrupt and stupid. He was not a President for the rest of America. He was not a President for the tens of millions of Americans who want to dream and hope and help each other. He was not a President for those who believe in fairness and opportunity and supporting each other. He was not. Ever.

Inaugurations are typically a day to hope and dream. Today was exactly that. Soaring speeches, stirring renditions of our nation’s anthems and hymns. Each, whether it was Lady Gaga, Jennifer Lopez, or Garth Brooks, was sung with such feeling and pride. And then there was young Amanda Gorman and her inspiring poem of hope and light and belief.

There is always light, if only we are brave enough to see it. If only we are brave enough to be it.

I’ve referred to myself as a pessimistic optimist. Maybe a better term is a realistic optimist. I need, we all need, days like today to hold on to that optimism. While Trump is no longer President, there are still plenty of reasons to worry and to fear about what the months and years will bring our way. This morning, I woke up at 4:00 and immediately became convinced that somebody was going to shoot Joe Biden today. Some National Guardsman or Secret Service agent, as everybody was distracted by something, would turn and kill him. It didn’t happen, and I don’t anticipate anything like that will happen.

But what will happen is a whole lot of conflict. It will continue. Republicans in Congress and across the country will continue to do battle with Democrats and try to throw road blocks in the way of progress. That is to be expected and I have no problem with it. That is what partisans are supposed to do. My hope, and it is a hope that is renewed today, is that while partisanship will continue, it will not be as unbending as it has been for the last 12-15 years. I have that hope. I’m holding on to it. Let’s do what we can to see it happen.

Meanwhile, I hope that Trump never appears on this blog again, except in its lower case form in relation to a card game.

I can’t say this the normal way since I don’t believe in God, but … today and every day, let’s see what we can do to Bless America with our hopes and our dreams and our efforts to see all of us achieve the best of what America can be.