I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear. -- Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Tag Archives: Valentine’s Day
February 14, 2019Posted by on
On this day of valentines and messages of love, I offer you this …
One of my favorite indie authors, who goes by Fallacious Rose these days, posted a question on Facebook. A question tied into one of her published stories, Deeper.
The question was:
Given the choice, what would you have – love or freedom? Can we have both?
I responded with:
We should be able to have both because one without the other isn’t really much at all.
I’ll spare you the back and forth that followed, but I ended the conversation with:
It’s a thing that requires two people to believe in and be willing to work hard for. It’s not easy, but it is definitely possible. Isn’t a part of love being willing to sacrifice?
I go back to the moment when I understood what true unconditional love really is. It was the moment when I held my first child in my arms for the first time. After my wife had been experiencing contractions for a week with no real progress and was rushed into a c-section and our son was brought into this world, I held him and I had this feeling. I would do anything in the world for him, to keep him safe, to raise him the best I could. I was willing to sacrifice every thing about me for him. Because, yes, love, real love involves sacrifice. It involves giving up a piece of yourself, and maybe, all of yourself for somebody or something that is greater than you.
I think the same can apply to adult relationships. Relationships of love and attraction and being together. I don’t know how you can have a relationship with anybody that doesn’t involve some element of sacrifice. And the relationship you have with somebody you love … it seems logical that it would involve the greatest level of sacrifice. Not that you give up who you are entirely. Not that you just do whatever the other wants. Not that you subsume who you are and what you want to the demands and desires of the other.
No … it’s not that.
What it is this. Love is possible. But it can only work if it is mutual. Shared sacrifice. Shared love. Share. Love = that.
So, there you go. Happy Valentine’s Day. One of my least favorite days of the year. Why? Because we should not need this day to remind us to love and to sacrifice in furtherance of that love. It is something we should do every day of the year.