KingMidget's Ramblings

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An Update to My Update

The last couple of weeks have taught me a lot about being humble and about grace. Once I decided to start telling people about what is going on, so many people have reached out. It has humbled me and filled me with a such a feeling of being loved and cared about, I can’t help but feel like I’m experiencing grace in some form. To all who have texted, called, emailed, or commented here … thank you. I always wondered if it meant anything when I reached out to say a few words to others who are going through a thing. Now, I know it does.

With that in mind, I just want to let you all know the latest. Two tests were supposed to take a week to come back. The doctor told me that if either of those tests came back with anything, I’d hear from him sooner instead of later. Which means some time this week. If I don’t hear from him this week, I’m considering that good news.

The third test, however, takes around three weeks. I just saw on my on-line portal for my HMO that I have a follow-up appointment scheduled with the hematologist for February 7. Yes, they scheduled it without contacting me to confirm I’m available. Sigh. But regardless of that … February 7 is apparently when I will know more.

Until then, I’m doing fine. It’s an odd thing. I’ve spent my adult life convinced there was a poison lurking in my body that would take me away from this world before I was ready. This fear really developed when my kids were born and I was afraid I wouldn’t get to see them grow up. Well, they’re 27 and 24 now, so I guess they’re grown. But besides that … now that I’ve got closer than ever before to a possible diagnosis of one of those “poisons,” I’m not in a panic. I’m not overly concerned. In this purgatory between test and results, I’m basically in a “we’ll see what happens” mode combined with a “it is what it is” afterthought. Of course, if there is bad news on February 7, my happy-go-lucky attitude may completely change, but for the moment, I am at peace with whatever the outcome may be.

There will be a lot of twiddled thumbs between now and February 7, but I’m also continuing to do my thing every day. Bicycling, cooking, baking, napping, reading, and writing. Something has happened in the couple of months that has renewed my interest in writing. I spend a few hours at it almost every day, which is far more than I can say about any of the last 5-7 years. I’m enjoying it again and actually, almost look forward to that time of the day.

Thank you again to all of my friends “in real life” and here on social media who have reached out. You are the Most Valuable Players in my life.

15 responses to “An Update to My Update

  1. Berthold Gambrel January 12, 2022 at 3:24 pm

    I really admire your stoicism. Here’s hoping for good news on the 7th!

  2. Audrey Driscoll January 12, 2022 at 6:30 pm

    You’re quite philosophical about this, Mark. Fingers crossed for Feb. 7th!

  3. Books & Bonsai January 13, 2022 at 2:07 am

    Hoping the news is good in February, Mark! and sharing is caring!

  4. Dale January 13, 2022 at 4:54 am

    I think you have the right attitude. And fretting about it from now till you get your results would not serve you well, anyway! Sending the good vibes necessary for good results!

  5. Sorryless January 13, 2022 at 7:21 am

    As best wishes go, you are writing your own best wishes Mark. Combined with all the love and support you’ve received, may it carry you to February without much fret. I know, it’s easy to say when you’re waiting on something, which is always the hardest part. But your will and your ability to be in the moment matter.

    Here’s to better days.

  6. Kevin Brennan January 13, 2022 at 7:28 am

    I hope I’m able to summon this kind of courage if a health scare comes my way. You’re in full zen mode–goal-worthy! Can you call someone at the HMO to ask about that Feb. 7 appointment?

  7. TamrahJo January 13, 2022 at 5:56 pm

    You’re right! THIS is what it feels like to be touched by grace! At least in my world! And, in the end – you are living each day in a state of grace, having been touched by it – now. What the results/appt tells ya? May or may not change that feeling – but for now? I’m saying “THANK YOU!” to the Universe! for Grace finding you!

  8. TamrahJo January 13, 2022 at 5:57 pm

    P.S. – for me? In my reality/world? Grace manages to find me when I never thought to ask for it, didn’t expect it, but am most sorely in need of some – there are few things I count on in Life, Grace finding me is one of them I no longer question!

  9. S.K. Nicholls January 14, 2022 at 7:09 pm

    I’m hoping the news in February is good news. My former father-in-law was diagnosed with leukemia in his late fifties. He had a few treatments for it. If it helps, he’s in his nineties now. You got this!

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