KingMidget's Ramblings

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Another Sign of the Apocalypse


Last night, I sent this out on Twitter:  Sign of the Apocalypse:  An adult male sitting next to me in a bar said “Charmander is my favorite Pokemon.”

Tonight’s sign of the apocalypse:

I remember my first garlic fry.  It was at a Gordon Biersch Brewery restaurant in the Bay Area way back.  Way back.  I was probably in my mid-20’s, so it was probably around 1990.  The beer was good.  The garlic fries were … INCREDIBLE!!

Since then, garlic fries have become somewhat of a commonplace item.  Served at ballparks and arenas and restaurants galore.

A good batch of garlic fries is a thing to behold.  Fries to the right degree of crisp, with a light coat of oil, herbs, and the minced garlic scattered about and in a pile right in the middle.  To dip into and dab at.  Of course, garlic fries are also a good ward against vampires and kisses from the ladies.  But sometimes, we must sacrifice those things for the sake of the garlic fry.

And now, McDonald’s, the mass producer (and mass destroyer) of food has gone out and done it.  I saw a commercial for their Gilroy Garlic Fries.  I just googled it.  After introducing the fries at a handful of San Francisco restaurants earlier this year and promptly selling out, they have expanded the offering to 240 Northern California locations.  I haven’t tried them but I can’t imagine how McDonald’s could possibly get them right.  Except for this … they already have the right crisp of their fry.  Maybe … hmmm ….

No!  Some things are not meant for the mass production machine of a McDonald’s.  Garlic fries are one of those things.  (And don’t even bother pointing out to me that all of the other places that now make garlic fries probably make more of them than McDonald’s ever will.  I’m not interested in reason.  McDonald’s is one of the roots of culinary evil in this world.  They’ll ruin the garlic fry.  I’m sure of this.)

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14 responses to “Another Sign of the Apocalypse

  1. Bruce Thiesen August 14, 2016 at 8:24 pm

    So by my count in your post, we may have two signs of the apocalypse, now that McDonald’s is getting in on garlic fries.

  2. S.K. Nicholls August 14, 2016 at 9:24 pm

    What’s wrong with having a favorite pokemon. You probably have favorite team sports figures that cost tax payers millions. Some of us just aren’t into that…or chasing little white balls around a pasture.

    • kingmidget August 15, 2016 at 6:13 am

      I was just having fun.

      But since you said it … actually, I don’t have favorite players. I have favorite teams, but I learned a long time ago that having favorite players was an exercise in futility because they frequently either (a) leave the team and go play for somebody else; or (b) turn out to be assholes.

  3. Trent Lewin August 15, 2016 at 4:29 am

    Just wait for McDonald’s craft beer… it will happen.

    Pokémon Go is an awesome game, by the way. Totally fun and have a great time with my kids on it. My favorite Pokémon is Staryu. My least favorite is Rattata. Seems like everywhere I go, there’s Rattata, what’s up with that?

    • kingmidget August 15, 2016 at 6:15 am

      I actually saw a comment on a post about the garlic fries from somebody who said he never goes to fast food restaurants because they don’t serve beer.

      But you’re right, that’s probably the next thing they’ll screw up. I can only imagine that any “craft beer” sold by McDonald’s would have to be brewed by Anheuser-Busch.

      As for Pokemon Go … sigh. 😉

  4. A Passionate Dreamer August 15, 2016 at 7:49 am

    You should try them before you judge. lol. but ew mcdonalds… not good. ANd now I’m drooling thinking of shooting down to this bar by my job for some garlic fries on my lunch break… hmmmm

  5. Kevin Brennan August 15, 2016 at 11:00 am

    Oh man, I’d never eat garlic fries from Mickey’s. I’m sure they’d really be “garlic” fries, and each one would take a bite out of my soul.

    • kingmidget August 15, 2016 at 7:40 pm

      I have this feeling I’m gonna go to a McDonald’s in the next few days and all I will order is garlic fries. Just to try them. To get it out of my system. To confirm that nothing good comes from a mass food producer trying to mimic something as good and pure as garlic fries.

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