I don’t know if you’re one person or if there was more than one of you commenting on my post from last night. It doesn’t really matter. I’m just going to assume that there was only one of you. And that’s part of the problem with you hiding behind your anonymity. How can I engage you in an honest, respectful, and legitimate discussion of the issues raised in my post when I don’t know if you’re one person or five. By insisting on being anonymous you get to make your points while leaving me with one hand tied behind my back.
The other problem with your comments, particularly your last comment, is that you put words in my mouth and thoughts in my head that simply do not exist. You demand that I feel the way you feel, believe what you believe, and live in your black and white world, and if I don’t I should be ashamed of myself.
Let me give you a clue, I refuse to live in a black and white world, yours or anybody else’s.
Let me give you another clue, I did not criticize the feelings and opinions of those who are sympathetic to the victim. I get those feelings, understand and accept them, and don’t question anybody who feels that way. And yet, because I don’t believe as you do, or feel as you do, I am open to your anonymous public attempt at shaming me and your accusation that I am judging the victim and blaming her for what happened.
I did not judge her and I did not blame her. What I said was that I feel no sympathy. I am completely neutral on her. I neither blame her nor sympathize with her. That, sir or madam, is the absence of judgment and the lack of sympathy does not automatically equal he existence of blame. Those are not the only options.
That all said, if you are someone I know in my real life, it’s a shame you believed you had to hide your identity in responding to my post. I crave honest and open conversations in which both sides exchange ideas and opinions in an open and respectful manner. That is impossible, however, when you put words in my mouth and thoughts in my head that simply do not exist, and you do so while hiding behind the wall of internet anonymity.
Same goes for any of my blogging and internet friends. We can disagree about anything and everything, and I’ll still love you and care about you and want to continue the dialog. But I absolutely will not participate in a discussion involving inaccurate depictions of my opinions and feelings made by somebody who doesn’t have the courage to reveal themselves.
I deleted the post from last night, not because my perspective changed – far from it. I deleted it because I will not allow my blog to become a place where people can hurl false accusations as you did, whether directed at me or anybody else.
Whoever you are, I invite you to participate in the kind of open and honest conversation I know we can have. If you can’t do that, find another place of the internet to inhabit.