KingMidget's Ramblings

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A Song For Today


For years, I was a fan of U2.  What they’ve done lately though, not so much.  But, here’s a version of one of my favorite songs of theirs.  Give it some time, The Edge fiddles around for a bit before he gets into it.

The song is about a heroin addicted couple.  There’s actually a wikipedia page for this one song.  Imagine that, a song with its own entry on the internet encyclopedia.  Anyway, before I go further …

I am not a heroin addict.  Never done an illegal drug in my life.  Never smoked anything.  Never shot anything into my veins.  Never.  Ever.  Not gonna start now.

But, yeah, I’m running to stand still and it’s time for me to stop.

What does this mean?

I’ve been thinking about this post for the last couple of days … actually regular readers will know that it’s something I’ve toyed with almost as long as I’ve been seriously blogging — all the way back to 2012.  Way back then, I set myself a goal.  I would post at least once each day for a year.  I posted a lot more than once per day, but I only made it about eight months before giving up.  Since then, my blogging has become more sporadic.

The problem though is that it has become more and more about what I do with my time, my mental energy, my writing brain cells, than those other things that i would like to do.  It’s time for a serious re-calibration.  A re-invention.  A return to my roots.  A reconsideration of who I am and what matters to me.

And I’m not sure what all of those things are anymore.  For almost ten years, I wrote fiction.  A lot of it.  Two novels, dozens of shorts stories.  a handful of half-completed novels.  And now, when I think about fiction writing, there is this vast empty hole in my head.  So, maybe it’s with my fiction.

Or maybe the me that matters lies somewhere else.  In walks along the river and photos and essays about those walks.  Or maybe it’s time to learn how to paint.  Or play an instrument.  Or … naps on the sofa and just not giving a damn about that whole piece of me anymore.

I’m really not sure.

Except, I know this.  As long as I have the distraction of my blog and those whose blogs I follow, I have an easy way out.  And I need to stop taking the easy way out.  I need to re-focus.  Re-dedicate.  To something that may continue and build upon my past efforts.  Or maybe something completely new.

So, for now…  KingMidget’s Ramblings is going dark.  At a minimum, it’ll be for the month of December.  It may be longer.  My other blogs are going dark as well, unless I have something concrete and relevant to their subject matter.  Markpaxson.com — my writing blog — nothing new unless I have a new short story to post.  Americanriverramblings.wordpress.com — my blog dedicated to the American River — going AWOL unless I can get to the river and take pictures and write something meaningful about the experience.

It’s all going dark … until I can re-wire my brain and figure out how to make this all work and keep moving forward.  To stop running to stand still.

It also means I’m not coming to WordPress until I figure this out.  I’ve made a lot of faraway friends here.  I’m not going to try to list them all because I would leave somebody out who doesn’t deserve to be left out.  Hopefully, you all know who you are.  Writers, thinkers, bloggers, random people who have a lot to say and who have educated, entertained, and kept me moving through the days.  It’s time for a break though … but it’s not just you.  It’ll be Facebook, Twitter, and just about all things Internet-based.  My goal is that I do nothing other than monitor my email.  So, if you need to get in touch with me … mpaxson55@gmail.com.  Otherwise, I’m just not in this neck of the woods for the time being.

It’s time to break out of the rut I’m in.  In a lot of different ways.  It starts here.  It starts today.  See you all in a bit.

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