KingMidget's Ramblings

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To Resolve or Not to Resolve

I choose not to except for one simple resolution and you will shortly see why there is only one resolution for me to make.

In years past, I have typically not made resolutions, but I have set goals.  Writing goals — finish two novels, write a script, get something published.  Running goals — run a couple of of half marathons and break two hours.  Life goals — do this and do that and go here and go there.  And, generally almost none of those goals are every accomplished in any real sense.

I have also lived the vast majority of my life always thinking and planning about tomorrow.  As I have written before, when I was a young child, my father warned me a number of times to stop wishing my life away.  The reality is that I haven’t stopped doing that.

And isn’t that what resolutions and goals are … they are about tomorrow instead of today.  They are about looking forward instead of being about today.  There’s nothing wrong with looking forward and establishing goals certainly makes sense.  But after living a life of doing that and arriving where I am today, it’s time for a change.

This is a lot of what I’ve been thinking about and doing over the last couple of months since I celebrated one of those birthdays with a zero at the end of the number.  I’ve never cared about how old I am.  I don’t think those zero years are any more significant than the others.  But, there was something about hitting that number and looking at how dissatisfied I was with so many facets of my life that made me realize I had to re-consider just about everything.

In those two months, I have found a couple of new friends who have undertaken significant efforts to help me realign my thinking and my approach.  Words cannot describe how much I appreciate these two new friends.  One who has become an almost daily email pen pal and the other who I have nicknamed my Positivity Guru for her never-ending ability to find the positive in things.

So, now after two months of thinking, a lifetime of living for the future rather than today, and a new year upon us, I resolve this simple thing:  to not live such a goal-oriented life and to live as much possible in today rather than tomorrow.

I will write when I want to, not because I have to.  (I realized that I have forced myself into a corner with my writing where it feels more like work and less like something I enjoy.  The solution to this is to eliminate the goals and need to write or complete my stories.  The solution is to write because I want to.)

I will run when I want to, not because I have to.  (I have no goals for my running this year.  I don’t care about my time, my distance, or anything else.  Other than being able to run when I want to.)

I will meditate when I want to, not because I have to.  (I have made a serious effort to give this a try over the past two months thanks to my Positivity Guru.  When I have a successful meditation session, I feel soooooo much better than I did before.)

I will, well, engage in more “want tos” that relate to today, and fewer “have tos” that relate to tomorrow and next week and next month.

This morning I woke up and decided to go for a run.  The run wasn’t very successful, but as I made my way back home, I realized I wanted to see the movie Wild.  So, I went.  Here’s hoping there will be more of that in my year ahead and less stress and annoyance and unhappiness.

My Positivity Guru has impressed upon me the importance of having an affirmation when meditating.  The reality is that the affirmation is something that can come in handy any time of the day.  My Positivity Guru reminds me to breathe throughout the day, particularly in moments of stress.  She has a point.  It is something I find myself doing more and more.  My affirmation and breathing and calming myself.

I am here

I am now

I am present

I am peace

I am love

Happy 2015 to all of you.


13 responses to “To Resolve or Not to Resolve

  1. Gibber January 1, 2015 at 5:00 pm

    Happy New Year to you too. 🙂

  2. Carrie Rubin January 1, 2015 at 5:02 pm

    Learning to live in the present is something I’m always seeking, too. I think the prolonged training of medical and legal careers makes those of us in those fields particularly prone to living in the future. We were always doing something to ready us for tomorrow. Once you’re in that mindset, it’s difficult to leave.

    I wish you well with your present-ness. May we both find it!

  3. Amy Reese January 1, 2015 at 5:33 pm

    I’d like to start meditating and I need a Positivity Guru. Where can I get one? Have a great year, Mark. Enjoy life!

    • kingmidget January 1, 2015 at 5:37 pm

      I got lucky. Which is the way I think these things have to be. You can’t force positivity. 😉 As for meditation, it is a difficult thing to do, at least for me. I have found that my best sessions are right after a run.

  4. Kevin Brennan January 1, 2015 at 7:43 pm

    I believe you’re on to something, sir. I’ve found that artificial requirements (goals) don’t usually result in the best outcome. If the impetus is artificial, then the product is going to reflect that. That means we need to find organic motivations that let our creative impulses stretch their legs in a way that’s not akin to chickens in a tiny cage.

    You’re on the right road, man…

  5. Deliberately Delicious January 1, 2015 at 8:03 pm

    I love the approach you’re taking to 2015, Mark! It sounds like a wonderful way to find joy in the day to day. Like you, I see the value in meditation, but struggle with my desire for each session to be “successful.” This year, I’m going to meditate with “exuberant imperfection.” To hell with whether I get it right or not!

  6. John Callaghan January 2, 2015 at 9:43 am

    Living in the present is something I need to do more of. I spend more time then I’d like dwelling on the past and worrying about the future.

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