KingMidget's Ramblings

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All is Not Fair in Love and War


One of the things that happens when you have kids with somebody else is that if things rupture, you’re still somewhat tied to that person.  At least until the kids become adults and you and your former partner are no longer responsible for what were one little bundles of joy.  Divorce settlements and orders are filled with limits on the ability of the now parting partners to move or re-locate.  In some instances, one or both parents are precluded from leaving the county of residence without permission.

Yes, it seems to be a somewhat basic concept.  Have a kid with somebody, a somebody who wants to remain involved, and you have an obligation to that person, and the kid, to maintain contact.  You don’t get to just get up and move, with said kid, to a remote island, a house on a cliff, or a mountain hideaway.  You’re tied down.  Connected with non-elastic bindings.

So, why should it be different if you’re a pregnant woman, bearing the soon-to-be little bundle of joy, sired by a man who wants to be the bundle’s father?  Well, it seems that Bode Miller’s short-lived girlfriend and women’s rights groups would seem to disagree.  Methinks that Ms. McKenna shouldn’t be having sex with men who can impregnate her if she’s unwilling to take on the responsibility that comes with it.  Meaning that if she gets pregnant and has the child, the father has as much parental right as she does.  At least that’s how it should be.

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7 responses to “All is Not Fair in Love and War

  1. butimbeautiful November 24, 2013 at 10:19 pm

    I guess so. The nature of the thing is that it’s very possible for a father not to know he is one, or for a woman to say he isn’t the father. I think perhaps this leads to different attitudes and rights being accorded to motherhood and fatherhood (that and the fact that the woman physically nourishes and incorporates the baby, the father just (just?) seeds it. I really don’t know what i think about it – I certainly think after birth, the father has rights, especially after some parenting has gone on – but before birth – I think it’s morally complicated.

    • kingmidget November 25, 2013 at 7:33 am

      I don’t think there was any doubt in this case regarding who the father would be upon the child’s birth and it also appears that he was pretty clear about wanting to be involved in the child’s life. I agree that it can be morally complicated, but that’s one of the realities of life and if a woman gets pregnant and the father wants to be involved, her rights are going to be limited by that fact. Just as his rights are limited if she wants to go after him for support.

  2. Anonymous November 25, 2013 at 9:46 am

    None of those “bindings” mean anything if the judge doesn’t care. An attorney would probably get through a divorce better than I did, but my ex moved the kids 300 miles away a couple of years after our divorce. When I notified the court, the judge said it didn’t matter. Next!

  3. passionatedreaming November 25, 2013 at 6:04 pm

    I’d kill the bastard for trying to take my baby from me…. =/

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