KingMidget's Ramblings

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Hobbits versus Jedi — it’s rather easy actually

Many moons ago, I engaged in a bit of banter with Trent Lewin about the comparable merits of The Lord of the Rings versus Star Wars.  Silly man that he was he attempted to write an epic poem to prove his thesis that Star Wars is the superior tale.  I was somewhat blown away by his effort, truth be told.  In the intervening months, the banter has come and gone as the talented Trent eggs me on to top his effort.  To prove that the trilogy of hobbits, dwarves, elves, wizards and men bests the cinematic tale of Darth, the Force, and death stars.

I finally realized that I was going about it all wrong.  There’s no need for a poem here.  No need to engage in a counter-epic, if you will.  No, it’s rather easy actually.

You see with Star Wars you have women with clam shell hair.


portman clamshell hair

And with The Lord of the Rings, you get elvish princesses with pointy ears …

at_Liv Tyler_2002

and damsels in distress who wreak their own havoc.


Nuff said  And I didn’t even have to mention those incredibly cool fuzzy feet hobbits have.  Their pipes or their beer.  Their gardens or their feasts.

Trent, back to you.

P.S.  When I typed in “women of Lord of the Rings” into the ol’ Google Image search engine, this picture showed up.  Maybe I need to change my mind.

Elijah Wood

26 responses to “Hobbits versus Jedi — it’s rather easy actually

    • kingmidget July 15, 2013 at 7:51 pm

      Dwarves, elves, men, ents, hobbitses, wizards both good and evil … the list never ends. What’s Star Wars got? Ewoks and Chewbacca. I mean, really, as much as I like Chewie, is there any comparison?

      • Rana July 15, 2013 at 7:59 pm

        Noooooope! XD Plus dragons, don’t forget dragons. XD

      • kingmidget July 15, 2013 at 8:09 pm

        Problem with dragons is they don’t make an appearance in Lord of the Rings. Although I am looking forward to the second part of The Hobbit.

      • Rana July 15, 2013 at 8:12 pm

        You ought to read the book Unfinished Tales. It’s a collection of stories in Middle Earth history not included in the Silmarillion. One story is Nar Ni Hin Hurin, meaning The Children of Hurin. It tells the story of Turin Turumbar, and he faces the greatest dragon of Middle Earth lore, Glaurung. He’s so awesome! XD

      • kingmidget July 15, 2013 at 8:20 pm

        I probably read that along with The Silmarillion years ago. There was a point, however, where those two books got to be a little much for me. Maybe I should try Unfinished Tales again. The name Glaurung definitely rings a bell.

      • Rana July 15, 2013 at 8:23 pm

        I just go straight for Nar Ni Hin Hurin. Although it makes me cringe to bring it up, Christopher Tolkien *shudders* published this story as its own book a couple years back. Same content as Unfinished Tales, just in its own binding. Short, sweet, and in my opinion Tolkien’s best work, even better than any of the LotR novels.

      • kingmidget July 15, 2013 at 8:27 pm

        I will look for it. You have me intrigued now.

      • Rana July 15, 2013 at 9:12 pm

        hehehe Mission accomplished. XD

  1. Charles Yallowitz July 15, 2013 at 7:52 pm

    Nope. I think that image is correct.

  2. Trent Lewin July 15, 2013 at 7:54 pm

    Um hello. There is nothing in the world more sexy than a dual hair bun. It’s possibly one of the most erotic hair styles ever designed. Well Midget, I can see where you are taking this, and I am certainly up to the challenge. Let me ponder on this.

    • kingmidget July 15, 2013 at 8:08 pm

      You’ve just revealed something about yourself that makes me worry tremendously about your well-being. Ponder away, good sir.

  3. Rana July 15, 2013 at 8:00 pm

    Reblogged this on Virginia the Viruliferous and commented:
    Dwarves win. Hands down. Tolkien wins. Your argument is invalid.

  4. tjtherien July 15, 2013 at 8:09 pm

    now I just have to comment here…the fact you guys are having this discussion is amusing…Lord of the Rings and Star Wars I don’t even think should be mentioned in the same breath…Really… We are talking Tolkien here… sorry if I offend your friend but Star Wars is a by far intellectually inferior. Lord of the Rings, while leaving out large parts of the text weaves in Tolkien’s own words masterfully and remains true to the story. That Story is a piece of Literature, It was ground breaking. I think better to wait until The Hobbit trilogy is complete and compare that to Star Wars, fairer fight…The Hobbit like Star Wars is a Children’s story.

    • kingmidget July 15, 2013 at 8:12 pm

      Here’s another element … if you look solely at the movies. Well, I’m sorry, but I fell asleep in the theater during the last Star Wars movie … talk about the worst dialog and acting in the history of cinema.
      But that also goes to what you’re saying the quality of Tolkien’s words and the schmaltz of Lucas.

      • tjtherien July 15, 2013 at 8:20 pm

        depth and themes also…just the feel of the worlds created the level of conflict in every character, that struggle in all of us between good and evil…like really walk into a cave cut of your own head in a light saber fight and then walk out and you never struggle with it again…really…the social and moral issues and yes I am talking about the movie which also emphasized the battle between technology and nature…which is a very relevant theme and I hate to say it we are the orcs…

      • tjtherien July 15, 2013 at 8:29 pm

        but aside from that do you have a link to this epic poem… I enjoy poetry and that stands on its own merits… the closest to a sci-fi/fantasy poem or story I ever wrote was my poem “A Dragons Monologue” which is nothing near epic, In fact I wouldn’t even say it was good.

      • kingmidget July 15, 2013 at 8:32 pm

        Well I suppose I used epic somewhat sarcastically. It’s epic only in the context of what was a minor to and fro until then. It is linked to in my post where I refer to his epic poem.

  5. ioniamartin July 15, 2013 at 9:27 pm

    I cannot fault him for his name is Elijah and so is that of my 8 year old child. lol.

  6. butimbeautiful July 15, 2013 at 10:03 pm

    I way prefer hobbits. Though maybe not in suits with weird psycho-stares.

  7. Kathy July 16, 2013 at 10:03 am

    There’s no comparison. Star Wars is by far superior.

  8. Faceless July 19, 2013 at 5:47 am

    your conclusion may be pretty direct, but i still find star wars to be the superior tale, however as one who wasn’t really all that amazed by LOTR and as one who grew up anticipating the next star wars movie, i find star wars VASTLY superior.

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