I’ve struggled for months with balance in my spare time. I’ve struggled for months with trying to find the energy to do the more that I need to do.
One of the problems is that this blogging has created a significant distraction. This little community that has developed of bloggers who follow me and the blogs I follow provides something I’m missing in other areas of my life. Can’t explain it. Can you? What is the emotional reward we get from this indirect, long-distance, but oh-so-personally expansive interaction we’ve created? Far too many evenings I spend blogging and not working on my fiction. That has to change. Last week, I decided I wouldn’t blog until I produced at least 2,500 words of fiction. I churned out 700 and then blogged. And blogged some more. I produced another 300 on Tuesday. And here I blog.
One of the problems is the groin injury that completely derailed my exercise routine. Put an end to running, left me walking like an old man far too many days. That seemed unaffected by physical therapy. I’ve gained almost 20 pounds in the last year as a result of my inactivity. Knowing I wasn’t exercising didn’t result in any change in my eating habits. In fact, some of those habits got worse. A month or so ago, I came closer to seeing a number on the scale than I ever thought I would. It involves a three digit number beginning with a 2. Any such number. Never seen it. Never want to. But, well, nothing changed much.
One of the problems is those issues that exist in various spheres of my life that I just cannot blog about here. They sap me of my energy. Strip me down, spit me out, and just leave me gasping at times. It’s hard to write. It’s hard to blog. It’s hard to do much of anything in those moments.
I blogged a few months ago about how I felt like a hibernating bear. A couple months later I blogged that the hibernating bear was waking up. Turns out I was wrong. Or a bit ahead of myself. Not much changed. Again.
Last Monday, March 4, real change began. I changed one of my worst consumption habits and am also trying to eat a little less, as well as a little healthier. And, you know what, I’m damn hungry!
Then Thursday, March 7, I went for a bike ride. It was short. 25 minutes around the neighborhood. About seven miles. Since then, I’ve gone for four more. Tonight, it was 40 minutes and more than ten miles. This weekend, I hope to hit the American River Bike Trail for a couple of hours. May not happen as I’ve also finally taken on a major yard project that will need my attention this weekend.
What does this mean? Why Blogging 2.0? I’ve loved this little world for fifteen months. I can write about anything and everything — and I think I have. But, it’s time for a more focused approach to my blogging. And less regular blogging. Those bike rides — in the evening after work — take up a significant amount of the time that I used to sit with my laptop. I have to continue them. I have to get back into a regular exercise routine because … well, the answer is obvious. I can no longer be a lazy lump.
And I need to get back to my fiction. I realized last week something I should have figured out a long time ago. Writing is very much a mental exercise for me. I think about what I write. A lot. There is this compartment in my head in which the door is always open. Or at least it was for years. Ideas and thoughts about whatever I’m working on that translate into words when I get to sit down and write. Somewhere during the last year, that door started to close.
It was replaced with the blogging compartment. Far too much of my mental writing energy went to thinking about blogging. It’s time for that to change.
I won’t be here as frequently as I have been since January 2012. I’ll still blog. I hope to write more thoughtful, meaningful posts and not have those days where I post five different things that are random. It just won’t be as frequent. We’ll see how it goes. Be patient with me. Every version 2.0 always has some bugs in it.