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Weed Therapy Pitch


For the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest, I have to come up with a 300 word pitch for Weed Therapy.  Spur of the moment, off the cuff … here’s what I’ve got for you.  Please … PLEASE … let me know what you think.

Kelvin Rockwell’s frustrated.  His thirteen-year-old son has pulled away from him.  His four-year-old son has never wanted anything to do with him.  And, his wife … well, she seems oblivious to it all.  He’s not just frustrated, he’s unhappy with his life.

Weed Therapy follows the eye-opening journey Kelvin takes to a village in Mexico where he has been told there is an old priest who will help answer the questions that haunt him.  Over several days, Kelvin experiences a life far removed from his own and explores his frustrations with Father Juan Miguel Santos, who shares his wisdom and life lessons.

The first lesson Father Santos teaches Kelvin is that a marriage is like a garden.  It must be weeded every day.  More importantly, the weeds can only be kept at bay, allowing the marriage to bloom to its fullest like the flowers of a garden, if both parties weed.

Kelvin returns home to put Father Santos’ lessons into action, leading him to the conclusion he needs with respect to his family and his own happiness.

Weed Therapy is the story of Kelvin Rockwell’s efforts to find happiness with his life and offers  ….

 

****

Eh, well, I’m not sure how to end it.  I’ll be back.

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3 responses to “Weed Therapy Pitch

  1. oliviaobryon December 13, 2012 at 4:19 am

    This is my placeholder comment as a promise to respond. Too tired tonight to give you thoughtful feedback, but I will, really! Pitches are so tough… It sounds like our stories really do have a lot in common.

    • oliviaobryon December 14, 2012 at 2:05 am

      I am by no means a pro at pitches. I’m still struggling with the one I started months ago. No matter what I do it’s not quite right… So, with that caveat, I’m not sure I’m the best person to provide feedback, but here are a couple of my thoughts:

      1. Get rid of the passive voice, (“has been told”). Who told him? Is his journey to find the priest a big part of the story or is the main action when he gets back home? As a reader, I was left wondering whether I would be primarily reading a book about his experiences in Mexico, his experiences back home, or equal parts both. I think the reader wants to know as it affects the level of interest– for some the journey is more interesting, for others the salvaging of the family life is… I almost think you don’t even need to mention his return home unless this is the main chunk of the book. I like not knowing what he decides to do after he receives these lessons.

      2. I heard hints of great mystery/intrigue surrounding the priest and the journey to the real Mexico but I felt like this could be played up more, at least from where my interest lies. That is part of what would get me to pick up the book if I didn’t know you.

      I’ll leave it at that– take what you want, leave what doesn’t resonate. Needless to say, your book sounds intriguing to me. The overlap with my own themes makes me interested to read it someday and I think the garden metaphor is great.

      Thanks for sharing this pitch, it made me reflect on my own. Maybe I’ll be brave and ask for input again sometime soon, too 😉

  2. Jade Turner-Bond December 13, 2012 at 4:46 am

    I just left you message. I was brutally honest

    Sent from my iPhone

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